Friday afternoon I look at the clock and it's 4:15(ish) PM and think "Hummm the hubby isn't home yet." So I call him to see if he's on his way yet and the conversation goes something like this:
Me: Hey, are you on your way home yet?
Hubby: Yea, I just got out of work.
Me: Oh what were you doing?
Hubby: I had a meeting.
Me: What about?
Hubby: Something that could end up being not so good.
Me: Okaaaaay... what is it?
Hubby: There is a chance I could be deployed a year ...
At this point he starts telling me exactly what is going on and what I hear in my head is something like Charlie Brown's teacher's voice because all around me my world is crumbling.
My heart suddenly feels like it weighs a million pounds
My stomach goes into a million knots
My eyes instantly fills up with huge tears
A year with out him. A year that he would have to be apart from me ... And more importantly a year away from the kids ... You have got to be joking.
But he's not ... He's dead serious. And he's telling me not to freak out ...
You just dropped a HUGE bomb on me and you don't want me freaking out?!?!
I understand that yes, it's not 100% ... that it's just 75-80% that this could happen. But just the thought of him being gone a year makes me sick to my stomach.
Now I know that girls go though this every day ... But I never thought I would have to ... So this is a huge surprise to me.
IF this happens will we get though it ... OF COURSE. I love my husband. And I support him whole heartily. But this is just a very unwelcome situation that IF happens, I will just have to be strong and get though. It sucks but it's not official yet ... But just the thought really does make my world go upside down.
I have been holding this in for almost two days. I have cried a lot when I am not around my husband and I have not stopped thinking about it since he told me.
Like I said ... Nothing is in stone yet, but I really needed to get my feelings out about this situation...