Fill in Friday #18

Sorry for the double post today ... here are my answers for Wife of a Sailor's Fill in Friday questions :)

Are you a night owl or an early bird?
LOL can I say both?! Being a Momma to a newborn kinda makes both out of you! But I am normally an early bird. I love sleep and am usually in bed by 10 and can pop right up with the rising sun most days.

What makes you jealous?
I get jealous of people that get married, buy a house, have kids, see them grow up, see them get married, and see their babies have babies all in the same house! Growing up I moved around so much that I was always jealous of kids that grew up and staid in the same house their whole lives. Now don't get me wrong, I am greatful for it, because I can adapt to anything now, but it's just one of the things that makes me a little jealous.

Have you started Christmas/holiday shopping yet? When will you finish? (There’s only 63 days left!)
Have I started shopping? No. Do I have list and ideas for everyone on what I will be getting them. Yes. I am a planner when it comes to big holidays like this :) Plus it gives me an idea of how much we will be spending so I can save a little each check. But I usually don't start shopping until Black Friday!

What would you have a personal chef make you tonight?
Can I just have one come and make me a whole bunch of sweets? I want a banana cake, creme brulee, cupcakes with all kinds of flavors, lemon bars ... I could totally keep going but I am making myself really hungry lol

Where was your first kiss?
OMGsh I remember my first kiss to a T. I was 8 living in Florida on Eglin AFB. I was spending the night with a friend named Bethany and we decided to sneak out and go hang out with my crush Robert L. We went to his house and jumped on his trampoline and then we were going to leave he grabbed me and kissed me. Now just as he did this a car drove by and to me it looked like a flash went off in the car, so I (being young) freaked out and swore that someone took a picture, I was going to end up in the news paper, my Dad was going to see it and I was going to get in so much trouble. Of course that didn't happen and I am even friends with Robert still lol

Getting it Off My Chest

| *Side note: I really hope that no one takes this the wrong way ... I just need to get it off my chest and this blog is my outlet* |

I am lonely. Have been for a very very very long time. I miss having good friends to do stuff with. I miss having my family latterly right down the road. And not saying that I don't have friends here, just not like I have had. And I know part of it is my fault. I don't participate in a lot of the events that going on around here with the local Mommies and wives, but I am having a very hard time connecting with people here. The one person that I had an awesome connection with had to leave (thank you military for that one) and since then I can feel myself slipping into depression.

Then my best friend came to visit and it was so amazing to have her here with me again and do all the things we used to do when we lived two blocks away -- and then she had to go back home, across the country and it was hard. Harder then I thought it was going to be. I miss her more then words could even say. I want to go back to live a year and a half ago (but have Little Man there with us). I miss Florida. I miss my life in Florida. I hate that I feel this way but I do.

I just want to find someone that will drop by out of nowhere b.c they know I need adult interaction, I want to get invited out to do things again, I want to be able to have girl talks and talk about how awful our husbands can be but then again how awesome they are... I know I will never have a connection like I do with my best friend but I really hate that I feel like I have no one. It has made me cry entirely too much and some days I sit here and that is all I think about.

I hate that I feel this way, and like I said, I know part of it is my fault. I want to start getting a group of the girls here that I do know together for a girls night at least once a month. Even if it's just to go out and get coffee. I just need someone to talk to and gossip with. I am a VERY social person. I am and can be a good friend :) I just need to put myself out there more and make friends. I am thankful for the people that I do know here and what they have done for me. I really hope this doesn't upset anyone, like I said I just needed to get it off my chest...

Breaks My Heart...

So I am sure many of you (if not everyone) has heard about the recent spike in teen suicides due to bullying because of people being different. Well I also know that MANY of these suicides were done by the gay youth. I am sickened by all of this and hate that it is happening. It seriously breaks my heart every time I hear about another young person taking their life because they felt like there was/is no other way to make it stop.

Another reason this hits me SO hard is because my brother is one of those that are young and gay in the world and is effected by immature, under educated people, bullies out there in the world. He has had SO many people say and do thing to him that have hurt him. Thank God he is strong enough to know that this people are idiots and has not felt like taking his life was the only way out. I have been there personally when people have verbally attacked him and the rage that I feel must only be 25% of what he feels when people lash out at him.

Tonight he and his boyfriend where minding their own business shopping at Target when they were called out and verbal attacked. Here is his story that he shared with me via facebook:

"L and I were in the Halloween/Christmas area of Target, which is in the back right hand corner, and these three guys were walking away from us towards the food section and were saying shit like "Can you even be that gay?" and making comments like "Want to see my nipple." and lifting up his shirt.

So we ignored them although I kept my eye on them until they were out of sight, so we just make a comment to each other about how we are in Orlando and in the 'college town' part of Orlando and that their redneck-ness is more out of place.

Then we see the same guys coming from the bike/toy are and I said it was time to go and so we started walking down towards the electronics department and they were by the women's clothes and one of the guys comes towards us and yells "FAGS" and I just happen to be by an employee of Target.

I turned around and said loudly that I needed security called on those guys and that what they were doing was a hate crime and he made fun of me and went the other direction, we went to check out and the employee talked to the security. We left with my car keys in between my fingers because that is how unsafe these guys made me feel.

I start to back out and the security guard is running towards the car and so I pull back in to the spot and he apologizes for the guys and makes sure we are okay and while we are talking to him the guys start walking towards my car and waving and laughing.

When I pulled out to drive away they stood in the middle of the road and spit on my car so as soon, and I mean within millimeters of them, I pulled out... rather quickly.

When we got home I called Target and talked to the manager to make sure he knew that the security guard and the other employee did a great job he told me that there were other incidents inside the store that the guys were involved in and that they had attacked someone in the parking lot.

Needless to say L and I will be carrying at the very least pepper spray in the car from now on. If the security guard hadn't been outside with us I'm sure these assholes would have acted out more."

If you don't believe this is happening or are shunning your eyes to what is going on out there then reading that story hopefully gave you a HUGE reality check. This IS happening and we need to do something about it. I don't care if you don't "AGREE" with their lifestyle. They are just trying to live their life and DO NOT deserve what is going on. For those of you that are turning your heads to this because of your beliefs, if this was happening to lets say the mentally handicaps in the world would you still be turning your heads, or would you stand up and fight with them?

You have to remember the gays in the world are just people like us, they love, the hate, the cry, the laugh, the live & they die. Let's not see their life cut short by our hateful actions and words.